I started a web site in 1999 when i came back into the rooms of alcoholics anonymous. What does big book mean, i know its the blue aa book. The big book s way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67 instructions. These step study guides and worksheets have been used by thousands of aas, nas, alanons, oa overeaters, cas, gas and other 12 step recovery program members that use the 12 steps as instructed in the book, alcoholics. I resent that remark feel bitter anger at, be indignant at, be provoked at, be in a huff about, be piqued at, view with dissatisfaction. Breaking down step ten of aa alcoholics anonymous jason.
Core character defects 4 study from the bottom of page 63 to the end of page 65 and then follow its instructions. The big book of alcoholics anonymous says resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else because deep resentment leads to futility and unhappiness and shuts us off from the sunlight of the spirit. By focusing on other people the individual ignores their own behavior. Sobrietystones handmade crystal healing jewelry gifts, stepping stones alcoholics anonymous gift store that celebrates recovery from addiction. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves reading. Twelve steps to live without resentment hazelden betty ford. Forgiveness is the art of releasing resentment hazelden. Resentment is really the aa term for the emotional reaction that goes by the name of hostility in other circles. The 164 and more book, ebook, and web site are all concordances which display passages from the big book alcoholics anonymous, the. It is vital that any negativity is not allowed to derail the recovery process resentment is one emotion that is most likely to do this. We made a list of people i had hurt or toward whom i felt resentment.
But once theyre down on paper they no longer seem so huge or powerful. Is the resentment a problem for you, does it cause you pain. Alcoholics and addicts have typically honed the skill of nursing resentments and finding fault into an art form. Overcoming resentment is essential in order to achieve true peace of mind and happiness. Alcoholic selftest using the big book of aa alcoholic and alcoholic selftest. Unfortunately, many alanons are not familiar with it, unless they too have read the book. The big book doesnt say that resentments only against others are the number one offender. Aaa view on dealing with anger alcoholics anonymous. We asked his protection and care with complete abandon. For instance, you might be resentful that you spouse doesnt understand how bad things are for you. All of our defects of character are forms of these three reactions. Just like, not all people that eat too much fat in their diets have heart disease or have an eating disorcer not all people who drink too much, or get in trouble while drinking are alcoholic.
Tripod decided to block me a few years ago, so i stopped writing, posting. Examples of selfishness, dishonesty, selfseeking, fear, and inconsideraton by mike b. Resentment in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and 12. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. I mentioned on my recent radio show the healing power of prayer that i would post the big book s resentment prayer. I heard this at an aa meeting tonight and it hit home.
Column 1 in dealing with resentments we set them on paper. Step four of aas twelvestep program of recovery is infamously the scary one. A resentment is any bad feeling relating to our past sometimes the very recent past. Also just curious do all meeting end by saying the lords prayer.
Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism. Overcoming resentment resentment hurts me most, is a saying often heard in 12step recovery meetings. If i am in resentment, i am inconsiderate in its literal meaning to myself and everyone in my life. Resentment can also play a role in racial and ethnic conflicts. This is really powerful and helpful in preventing future resentments because there are underlying character defects that are what attracts the resentment. Sobrietystones uses the ancient meanings of gemstones to help with healing, balancing, and aligning your heart, mind and soul towards your greatest good. Resentments, let them go in alcoholics anonymous we learn that resentment is a condition or state of mind whereby one relives some past event, and feels the emotion from that event as if it were happening right now. Aa speaker why having resentments is dangerous in sobriety 936. Our use of the milder word may have something to do with our dayatatime program. One experimental study of alcoholics suggested that resentments may create in the blood of alcoholics a certain uncomfortable condition that is cleared up by a binge. Therefore, holding resentments is like recycling old, negative feelings, revisiting them over and over again. The opinions expressed on this page are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of the original way group. The big book explains that we must make a list that includes all our resentments we have and have ever had, an account of sexual conduct and our fears.
Resentment is close to re sentimentsentiment meaning feeling and re meaning again. Home read the big book and twelve steps and twelve traditions alcoholics anonymous alcoholics anonymous this is the fourth edition of the big book, the basic text for alcoholics anonymous. Step four prayer freedom from resentment step 4 of the. After all this, it cant be denied that the big book paints a really definite picture of the result of holding resentments. Twelve steps to live without resentment hazelden betty. Resentment is a particular dangerous emotion for people in recovery to experience because. Resentment is cited as having infected the structure of social value, and is thus a regular catalyst in conflicts sparked by inequality. Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which. The 164 and more book, ebook, and web site are all concordances which display passages from the big book alcoholics anonymous, the twelve steps and twelve traditions, and the a. Theres a meeting i want to go and it says bb for big book. Resentment in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and. If that might be your own case, that is finejust proceed by making a list of people, institutions or principles page 64 with whom you are or have ever. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have also been spiritually ill.
Aa recognizes that resentment is toxic to our inner lives. Even when you dont really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you dont mean it, go ahead. A typical response to disturbance is to blame our feelings and reactions on other people. In fact, on paper a lot of resentments look downright stupid. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and more concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either alcoholics anonymous. A fourth study guides are distilled right out of the big book of alcoholics anonymous. These instructions are for the below prayer big book, freedom from bondage, p. Resentments can be directed against people or institutions. Resentments seem huge and powerful when theyre in your head, note the authors of a program for you, a hazelden study guide to the big book of alcoholics anonymous. I mean, the book is really just hammering this in to us.
Resentments in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and. In fact, the original members of aa who wrote the book alcoholics anonymous believed resentment was the number one offender, and that it destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally. Authentic forgiveness takes time as the hurt party works hard to let go of resentment and the need for retribution, said lerner. Dealing with resentment and alcoholism anaheim lighthouse. Aa history what does the bigbook say about resentment. Aa beyond belief provides a space for agnostics, atheists and freethinkers in alcoholics anonymous to freely share their experience, strength and hope with each other and aa as a whole. So, it is good for you for not hesitating having this anymore or you going to regret it. Fear, anger and resentment the addiction counselor.
As in so many things, especially with we alcoholics, our history is our greatest assetwe each arrived at the doors of aa with an intensive and lengthy history of things that do not work today, in aa and in recovery, our history has added an intensive and lengthy history of things that do work and we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Page 67 of the book, alcoholics anonymous, states, resentment is the number one offender. These feelings can range in intensity from mild irritation to burning anger. Learning the process of overcoming resentment literally saves the lives of people who are afflicted with the disease of alcoholism. Information and translations of resentments in the most comprehensive dictionary definitions resource on the web. If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. Resentment, anger, and fear make up the triangle of selfobsession. Re, meaning again, andsentment, which like, sentiment, means to. Fear is surely a bar to reason, and to love, and of course it invariably powers anger, vainglory and aggression. Resentment inventory prompt sheet here is a list of people, institutions and principles that may be helpful in your resentment inventory. Alcoholic selftest using the big book of aa step 12.
Most men or women in aa, if they have read the stories in the big book of alcoholics anonymous, know what it is. Breaking down step four of aa alcoholics anonymous jason. Origins of moral inventory aa the original way group. Alcoholics anonymous, page 64 aside from confusion, the second obstacle some of us have encountered at step four has been in the shortsighted belief we had no resentments. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. Articles according to the classic book alcoholics anonymous, resentment and alcoholism go hand in hand. Alcoholics anonymous jewelry and aa gifts for aa, na, ga.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Putting a name on this list does not mean we dont love them, so we try not to let our love. Unpacking the boxes of resentment and love by mockingbird on sep 6, 2016 5. Page 552, 4th edition someone was having a problem with resentment in the meeting this morning in stepchat, and i told them to read this as i. That he struggles daily, as do i, as a result of his disabilty. In order to thoroughly follow the path of the founders we need to know the context of the big book instructions. Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery. List real resentments, not imaginary or theoretical resentments. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Pages 60 and 61 in alcoholics anonymous devote two paragraphs to this topic, beginning with. It underlies maudlin guilt and paralyzing depression. Below are the 10 most common resentments individuals in early recovery may feel.
The book alcoholics anonymous then recommends following through with more action. Do it everyday for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that. This page is about moral inventory and its historical roots in aa. A top psychologist has recently suggested that drinkers may enjoy the feelings of power over others that the influence of alcohol can bring. Resentment is literally to feel sentire again re, and it is the fuel that feeds the fires of our addictions. The big book of alcoholics anonymous says we were prepared to look at resentments from entirely different angle, and be willing to admit, that i could possibly be wrong about these people. As the aa book says, fear is an evil, corroding thread. The big book describes this step as a personal housecleaning. Step four prayer freedom from resentment step 4 of the 12. According to the classic book alcoholics anonymous, resentment and alcoholism go hand in hand. So, resentment literally means feeling again and again. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them. That my life is harder, i get less sleep, i will always be a caregiver andor advocate for him, that i am angry that this happened to my kid. The big books way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67.
As it says in the big book, when we are disturbed, it is usually because we find some person, place, thing or situation some fact in our lives unacceptable. You can also do a 4th step on it in the 12 step approach of alcoholics anonymous aa. Expectations are premeditated resentments soberrecovery. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. I would like to hear everyones thoughts on having resentments against yourself and if.
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